Why Is Life So Unfair And How To Deal With It
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Life, in its inherent nature, is unpredictable and uncontrollable. This fundamental truth is a constant reminder of our human limitations. We plan, strategize, and make efforts to shape our lives, yet often, the outcomes are not within our control. This unpredictability can lead to a sense of powerlessness, a feeling that despite our best efforts, we are at the mercy of circumstances beyond our control.
This powerlessness is further exacerbated by our perception of unfairness. We often observe disparities in life outcomes that seem to defy the principles of justice and meritocracy. Some people seem to have all the luck, while others, despite their hard work and dedication, face constant setbacks. This perceived unfairness can lead to feelings of resentment, disillusionment, and a sense of injustice.
Why Is Life So Unfair?
What Does “Life Is So Unfair” Mean?
The phrase "Life is so unfair" is a lament often heard in the face of adversity, a cry of despair echoing in our unimaginable expanse of existence. But what does it truly mean?
In essence, when one says "Life is so unfair," they are acknowledging the chaos, the unpredictability, the systemic injustices, and the uneven distribution of suffering that characterize life. It is a phrase that encapsulates the complexity of existence, an evidence to the human struggle against the capricious tides of life
A. Five Reasons Why Life Is So Unfair
5 Reasons Why Life Is So Unfair
This unfairness of life manifests in various forms, each more perplexing than the last. Here are five reasons why life is unfair:
1. We Can’t Choose Our Circumstances
The circumstances of our birth are perhaps the most glaring example of life's unfairness. We do not choose our parents, our socioeconomic status, our nationality, or our genetic makeup. These factors, over which we have no control, play a significant role in shaping our lives.
Some are born into wealth and privilege, while others are thrust into a world of poverty and hardship. This is the roulette of birth, a game of chance that sets the stage for life's inherent unfairness.
2. We Are Hostage To Randomness
Life is a puppeteer, and we are but marionettes dancing to its whims. The strings of chance pull us in directions we never anticipated. A chance encounter could lead to a life-altering opportunity, or a random event could bring about unforeseen adversity. This randomness, this lack of control over the events that shape our lives, is another facet of life's unfairness.
3. Asymmetrical Distribution Of Reward
In an ideal world, hard work and merit would be rewarded proportionately. But life is far from ideal. Often, those who work the hardest reap the smallest rewards, while those who contribute the least bask in the spoils of success. The scales of merit are imbalanced, adding to the unfairness of life.
4. The Loop Of Inequality
Injustice and inequality are pervasive in our world. Discrimination based on race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is a stark reminder of life's unfairness. These systemic injustices, deeply ingrained in our societies, perpetuate cycles of unfairness that are difficult to break.
5. The Illusion of Control
We like to believe that we are in control of our lives, that our actions determine our outcomes. But this is often a mirage. Despite our best efforts, we can't control everything. Unexpected events, from economic downturns to global pandemics, can upend our lives in an instant. This illusion of control adds to the unfairness of life, as it makes us question our efforts and decisions.
B. So, Is Life Fair or Unfair?
Life’s fairness or unfairness is a matter of perspective, and perception is highly subjective, varying greatly from person to person. This perception of life’s fairness or unfairness is influenced by a multitude of factors, including societal norms, individual beliefs, personal experiences and socioeconomic status as explained below:
Life Is Fair or Unfair Depending On The Following Reasons
Societal Norms
Fairness, as we perceive it, is a human construct, a product of societal norms and expectations. It is not a universal law, but a subjective concept that varies across cultures and individuals. What one person deems fair, another might see as grossly unjust. This subjectivity is the root of many conflicts and misunderstandings, as each individual's perception of fairness is shaped by their unique experiences and worldview.
Individual Beliefs
Our perception of fairness is often skewed by cognitive biases. For instance, the self-serving bias leads us to believe that we deserve more than others, while the just-world hypothesis makes us think that people get what they deserve, even when evidence suggests otherwise. These biases distort our perception of fairness, making life seem more unfair than it actually is.
Personal Experiences
Our personal experiences play a significant role in shaping our perception of fairness. Those who have experienced hardship and injustice are more likely to view life as unfair, while those who have been privileged may perceive life as just. This disparity in perceptions underscores the subjective nature of fairness and the role of personal experiences in shaping it.
Socioeconomic Status:
Socioeconomic status greatly influences our perception of fairness. Those in lower socioeconomic brackets, who often face systemic injustices and hardships, are more likely to view life as unfair. Conversely, those in higher socioeconomic brackets, who often benefit from these same systems, are more likely to perceive life as fair.
C. Is Life Unfair To Everyone?
Life's unfairness is not a selective director. It does not discriminate, does not favor, and does not exempt. It is a universal phenomenon, a shared experience that binds us all, from the beggar on the street to the billionaire in the penthouse.
Consider the world we inhabit. The global landscape is a stark testament to life's inherent unfairness. The wealthiest 1% of the population owns more than twice as much wealth as 6.9 billion people, according to a report by Oxfam. This grotesque disparity is not a product of merit or hard work but a consequence of birth, circumstance, and chance.
In the same vein, the Covid-19 pandemic has laid bare the brutal unfairness of life. The virus has not been a 'great equalizer' as some initially claimed. Instead, it has disproportionately affected the poor and marginalized, while the richest have seen their wealth skyrocket. A new billionaire has been created every 26 hours since the pandemic began, while millions have lost their lives, livelihoods, and loved ones.
While at the same time, consider the recent sinking of the Titanic submersible, a vessel that promised its wealthy passengers an experience of a lifetime, a journey into the depths of the ocean where the legendary Titanic rests. The unfortunate incident serves as a reminder that life's unfairness spares no one. It does not discriminate and is a universal truth that binds us all.
The Paradox of Unfairness: If Life is Unfair to Everyone, Is It Fair?
This brings us to a paradoxical question: If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair? This is a tempting proposition, a comforting thought that might help us make peace with life's injustices. But it is a dangerous illusion, a seductive lie that obscures the harsh reality.
Life's unfairness, or rather, unfair situations in life are not evenly distributed. It is not a level playing field where everyone faces the same obstacles. Some are born on a mountaintop, while others start in a deep valley. Some face a gentle breeze, while others battle a raging storm.
The unfairness of life is not a uniform, universal experience. It is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon that varies in intensity and form. It is shaped by a multitude of factors, from our socio-economic status to our race, gender, and age.
D. Is Life Being Fair to You?
This is a question that requires a deep and personal introspection and the answer lies not in the external circumstances that surround us, but in the internal dialogue that we engage in with ourselves. It is a question that demands us to strip away the layers of societal conditioning and peer into the raw, unfiltered reality of our existence.
Consider this: A man who is born into wealth may feel that life is fair because he has never known the sting of poverty. On the other hand, another man who has clawed his way out of destitution may feel that life is unfair because he has had to fight for every scrap of success.
The truth is, both are correct in their assessments. Life is neither fair nor unfair. It simply is. It is a series of events, a cascade of moments that we navigate based on our perceptions, beliefs, and actions.
So, is life being fair to you? The answer lies within you. It is a reflection of your perception, your beliefs, and your actions. It is a testament to your resilience in the face of adversity and your grace in the face of triumph. It is a measure of your humanity in a world that is often chaotic and unpredictable.
Remember, life does not owe us fairness. It owes us nothing. It is up to us to carve out our own sense of fairness, to navigate our erratic existence with courage, resilience, and a steadfast belief in our ability to shape our destiny.
E. How To Accept Life’s Unfairness
Since life is not a symphony of fairness, but a jazz improvisation of asymmetries, the first step towards acceptance is to acknowledge this inherent randomness, this inherent unfairness. It is not an enemy to be defeated, but a dance partner to be embraced.
How To Accept Life’s Unfairness With 8 Methods
Once you accept in principle that life in unfair, then here are 8 more strategies to help you to a path of absolute immunity from life’s unfairness:
1. Embrace Randomness
Many things happen beyond our control, and it's crucial to understand this. Take, for instance, the roll of a dice. No matter how much we wish for a six, the outcome is beyond our control. Similarly, life events often unfold in ways we cannot predict or control. Accepting this randomness can help us navigate life's unfairness without being consumed by frustration or despair.
2. Build Options
Optionality is the key to life's capricious tune. The more options you have, the more freedom you have to respond to life's injustices. It is the ability to pivot when the winds of fate blow in an unfavorable direction, to change course when the current of life pulls you towards uncharted waters. It is the power to choose your response, to shape your destiny amidst the chaos of life's unfairness.
3. Cultivate Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, to rise from the ashes of failure and disappointment. It's like a rubber ball that, when thrown against the ground, bounces back higher.
Consider a setback in your career, perhaps a missed promotion or a job loss. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, use it as a stepping stone to reassess your skills, explore new opportunities, or even start your own venture. By cultivating resilience, you can turn the unfairness of life into a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.
4. Develop Antifragility
As Nasim Taleb would argue, resilience is not enough and antifragility is a much superior response to life’s unfairness. It is about building systems and habits that do not merely survive disorder, but thrive in it.
There is no better example of antifragility than the human body, a marvel of biological engineering. When you exercise, you inflict stress on your body, causing microscopic tears in your muscles. But it is this very stress that triggers the body to repair and strengthen these muscles, preparing them for future stressors. This is antifragility at work, where disorder fuels growth and improvement.
Another example of antifragility manifesting, is in the form of small businesses and decentralized economies. These entities, nimble and adaptable, can pivot their strategies based on the changing tides of the market. They do not just weather the storm of economic change, they harness it, turning volatility into opportunity.
5. Find Purpose Amidst Chaos
Purpose is the compass that guides us through the stormy seas of life. It gives meaning to our experiences, especially the unfair and painful ones. Imagine you're passionate about environmental conservation.
You witness rampant deforestation in your community, which seems profoundly unfair. Instead of feeling helpless, you channel your frustration into action, perhaps by starting a local conservation initiative. Your purpose transforms the unfairness into a call to action, a chance to make a difference.
6. Practice Stoic Acceptance
The ancient Stoics believed in accepting what we cannot control and focusing on what we can. This philosophy can be a powerful antidote to life's unfairness. Suppose you're stuck in a traffic jam, late for an important meeting. No amount of anger or anxiety will clear the road. Instead, accept the situation and use the time to listen to an audiobook or practice mindfulness. Stoic acceptance helps us find peace amidst chaos and turns obstacles into opportunities.
7. Nurture Relationships
Relationships are our lifelines in the turbulent seas of life. They provide support, comfort, and strength, helping us weather the storms of unfairness. If you're going through a difficult time, reach out to a friend or family member. Share your feelings, seek advice, or simply enjoy their company. The unfairness of life seems less daunting when we're not facing it alone.
8. Maintain a Positive Outlook
Optimism is the beacon of hope that illuminates the darkness of life's unfairness. It's not about ignoring the negative but acknowledging it and choosing to focus on the positive. If you're dealing with a health issue, for instance, it's natural to feel scared and upset. But try also to appreciate the medical care you're receiving, the support from loved ones, or the strength you're discovering within yourself. A positive outlook can make the journey through life's unfairness less arduous and more enlightening.
F. So What's the Point of Living When Life Is So Unfair?
In the face of life's relentless unfairness, one might question the very point of existence. It is a query as old as humanity itself, a cry of despair echoing through the ages.
The point of living in an unfair world then, is not to bemoan its unfairness, but to rise above it, to find meaning amidst the chaos, to forge a purpose that illuminates the darkness. It is to dance with the absurd, forge your own purpose, to find beauty in the struggle, to cultivate resilience and to practice gratitude. It is to live, not in spite of life's unfairness, but because of it.
How To Find Meaning In An Unfair World
How To Find Meaning In An Unfair World In 5 Ways
1. Embrace the Absurd
Life is inherently unfair and unpredictable. It is a chaotic dance of events, a theatre of the absurd. Embrace this absurdity, revel in it. It is within this chaos that we find the freedom to create our own meaning, our own purpose.
2. Forge Your Own Purpose
Do not wait for the world to hand you a purpose on a silver platter. Forge your own purpose within the crucible of your heart. Whether it is fighting for a cause you believe in, alleviating the suffering of others, or simply finding joy in the simple pleasures of life, let your purpose be a beacon that guides you through the stormy seas of life's unfairness.
3. Find Beauty in the Struggle
Life's unfairness is not a curse to be lamented, but a challenge to be overcome. It is a struggle, yes, but it is within this struggle that we find the opportunity for growth, for transformation, for beauty. Find beauty in the struggle, find joy in the journey.
4. Cultivate Resilience
The unfairness of life is a relentless storm, battering us with the winds of adversity and the rains of disappointment. Cultivate resilience, the ability to weather the storm, to stand tall amidst the chaos. Resilience is not the absence of suffering, but the ability to persevere despite it.
5. Practice Gratitude
In the face of life's unfairness, it is easy to focus on what we lack, on what we have lost. Practice gratitude, the art of appreciating what we have, what we have gained. Gratitude is not the denial of suffering, but the recognition of the blessings that exist amidst it.
Examples Of People Choosing To Live When Life Is Unfair
Consider the life of a soldier in the heat of battle. The world around him is a maelstrom of violence and death, a stark testament to the unfairness of existence. Yet, it is within this crucible of chaos that he finds his purpose, his meaning. He fights not for glory or wealth, but for the man beside him, for the ideals he holds dear. His purpose is not imposed upon him by the world, but forged within the furnace of his own heart.
Similarly, the life of a nurse in a bustling hospital is a constant struggle against the unfairness of disease and death. Yet, it is within this struggle that she finds her purpose, her meaning. She works tirelessly, not for recognition or reward, but for the wellbeing of her patients, for the alleviation of suffering. Her purpose is not dictated by the world, but born from the depths of her compassion.
G. Conclusion
The lotus flower blooms in the murkiest of waters, its beauty a stark contrast to the mire that surrounds it. It does not lament the unfairness of its circumstances. Instead, it uses the mud as nourishment, transforming the filth into a spectacle of beauty. Such is the power of self in an unfair world, in the ability to turn life's unfairness into an advantage, to transform the mud of adversity into the bloom of triumph.
Hence, life's unfairness is not a sentence to a life of despair. It is a call to action that beckons us to rise above our circumstances, to seize the reins of our destiny. It is a challenge that invites us to become architects of our fate, sculptors of our reality.
